I'm pretty bitter about life lately.
Throughout my life, i've always felt like I could have done better. Everyone around me could have done better. My mom could have done better, but I won't tell her that. I won't make the same mistakes she did.
Lets say I make 95% on a test, I don't see that as an accomplishment. I tear it apart trying to figure out what I got wrong, and why I got it wrong. For some reason, I don't understand why I couldn't have gotten 100%. It's really bothersome. Some people in High School, even my best friend saw me as the suck up. It's not that I needed to be better than everyone else. I needed to be the best I could be. I had no reason to fail anything. No one has a reason to fail. There is always going to be someone who won't let you fail, even if you don't have much for parents, or friends, there is always teachers at school.
I wish my mom had told me I could be anything I wanted. I don't think I ever heard it once growing up. I hear it now, but I wish I knew back then. She could have done better. I could have done better.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
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1 comments:
Maybe when we look back we'll always think we could have done better. Maybe that's just how retrospect is. It doesn't really matter because it's not how we think we could have been but how we were that was. I'm writing from experience here. Looking back and going 'if only I'd done this then I would have been better' won't get you anywhere.
Besides, who but you says where you are now is so bad? It's where you are anyway so why not find some positive light in things?
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