It's not as bad when I don't drink.

I have put off writing this for a couple weeks now because I've been really sick with the H1N1 virus and pneumonia and spent a week in the hospital, and then I slipped a disc in my neck and pulled ligaments. I just don't want to talk about it anymore.

I'm the kind of person who always knows what I want. I may not go after it, but I know exactly what it is I want. I don't always make the right decisions, probably because I'm scared of having what I want, and realizing it's not enough, but I know. How could you not know? You know your heart better than anyone else. It's honest with you even when you're not being honest with yourself. The saying is to go with your gut instinct but I know in my heart what I really want.

I've been really frustrated lately. My health, school, friends, distance, home.